Well firstly I gotta apologize to my friends and family for my previous post on facebook.
I sorta had a close encounter with a mental breakdown.
For the sake of my psychological health, I'm just gonna let it out, so bare with me here.
Some of you know that my mum suffered from depression few years back and although she is doing very well at the moment, sometimes her emotion gets the better of her and that really affects me too.
Unfortunately mum doesn't have any other family member except for me. She does have very close friends but she ain't the type to speak out her feelings and her struggles to them. She keeps it to herself. I am the only person alive that she can really open up to talk about, well, pretty much anything.
I am grateful for that, but sometimes it can get overbearing and frustrating.
"Sure she can turn to me, but how about me? Who do I turn to when I need someone the most? What do I do when I feel I can't take it anymore?"
"Am I stuck with her for the rest of my life taking care of her? Huh, if that's the case, I should just forget about looking for a relationship."
These are the thoughts that comes across my mind when it gets unbearable at times. I know, I feel terrible about it.
It's tough when you yourself don't have a support close by.
As much as I love my dad, I can't and won't ask for his help.
Ever since my parents split up when I was small, I live with my mum and dad married someone else (whom I love dearly. She's like my best friend) and has two kids, who are my little bro and sis.
He already has enough issues to be handled.
So yeah...
Yes I know I am not the only one with issues. There are people with whole lot worse. I understand that in my head, but that just won't make me feel any better.
All I can do is to bite my lips and bare with it (for now anyway!)
Besides, I am able to bare with it thanks to my friends all over the world and my family back in the United States.
Thanks to you guys I can release my stress with a smile.
I am truly grateful.
Thank you :)
So to all of you, I apologize in advance if I start whining again like I did yesterday. It probably won't be the last lol.
God, I can't wait to visit Perth in November to catch up with my friends!!
