Mmmm... to be or not to be...

yay I have bit of muscle on my arms!
I know it's not much. Should I work out at the gym more to bulk up a little bit more?

Please please please say it isn't so!

Ok, I'm sorry it was all my fault, I appologize from the bottom of my heart.

So please, don't humilate me! Please! You guys are mentally raping my brain!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I thought Dragon Ball Z as Hollywood movie was bad enough...

There's a rumour that now, Cowboy Bebop may become the next victim of Hollywood.


Oh god, now THIS is humiliating.

No no no no no, let this just be a rumour. Leave it the way it is, I can't picture Spike with a different voice other than THAT voice (sexy voice indeed... *drools*). Or that looks for that matter!

To be honest I really don't think current Hollywood can produce the same or better atmosphere like the anime.



see what I mean?

Curse you Hollywood with your unoriginality!!

Curse you Hollywood

Yes, I know they're making the film, yes I know of the plot, and YES I KNOW WHOSE IN IT.
Goku a school nerd....
But to actually see the sneak peak of the film itself? I hate it before I've even seen the darn film.
No I don't personally hate the acters, they're just doing there job. But...

HOW DARE YOU HOLLYWOOD.

Are you seriously expecting me to accept the fact that this man is acting as Goku???????

Not just him, Master Roshi sure looks younger with lot of hair doesn't he!

YOU
ARE
ACTUALLY
TELLING
ME
THAT
THIS
IS
SUPPOSE
TO
BE
THE
SAME
CHARACTER



This is going to be the Dark Age for Dragon Ball Z...

How cool is that?

I found out that my grandma in America has recently passed away. I did meet her 2 years ago and she was pretty sick already (of course that didn't discourage her for being full with sense of humour lol), and few month ago they found out she had a pretty bad lung cancer, so I guess she is free from her pain.

But the episode made me smile. Why?
Well, when my Aunt was with her, Grandma said, "I walked with Jesus".

Those were her last words.

How cool is that? I bet she really did walk with him :)

Miss you Grandma!

Dead meat on the simmering hot iron!... souds like some punk rock song doesn't it?

Ok... so like I mentioned previously, I went to my friend, Ai's BBQ party held on the roof top of her house. hahaha, it sounds so funny when it's in English. but there you go. that's what is like to live in Tokyo. hell, at least Ai's house has a roof top we could all walk about!

Anyway,
IT WAS.... SO... FRIGGIN.... HOT....
and unlike summer in Perth, it's so ridiculously humid lol.

By the time I got there the party juuuust started so there weren't that many people. Still, everyone enjoyed the hot sun in a different way.

Some chat and smoked


Some pretend they were from a rural village selling vegetables,


Some sang and played the fan guitar,


Some tried to get the fire going, (owww... how nice of him ;D )


Some like me and Ai enjoyed the cold water to chill



Then came Nao, Ai's bf to disturb our slumber, so we decided to pinch his nipples.
And yes he loved it so. His facial expression is proof enough!


In between, the temporary summer storm passed by but it lasted for just about an hour or so, thus we resumed the BBQ afterwards.
Gradually more people came and had BBQ til dawn. yay, lunch BBQ and dinner BBQ and alcohol! woot!




afterwards late at night we cleaned up the mess and went inside one of Ai's room (coz we can't stay out for the whole night partying. Neighbours would complain. *sigh*) and continued on with the drinking ;)



Hahaha, this pic really looks like there's lesbian action going on lol.


yeah, can you tell it's that late night atmosphere, where everyone still wants to stay awake but the energy isn't much there? lol

or just go plan nuts.


Some of us ended up staying the whole night at Ai's place. Next thing in the morning one of our friend came over and decided to try on one of the girl's swim suit.
how random is that? He's such an idiot, seriously lol.



I had a great time made my mind freshen up a little bit! Should do this again next year :)

She's Baaaack ;)

Everyone, thanks for the warm and kind messages. I am getting better now. I'm my "usual" self as long as I'm with other people. Not when I'm alone though. *sigh*
Still I'm having hard time getting back home. I don't want to go home. Yeah, I even try to work overtime just so I don't have to go home sooner.
Every single thing in the house reminds me of her. Darn lol.
Anyway enough with the depressing talk. I will be ok :)

So... my dog came back home yesterday. Changed a little in shape and size though lol.

Yeah, she has been cremated. But I don't believe that she's actually inside this urn or anything like that. But we will keep it as sort of like a "beacon" for her to find the way back home easily. You know, whenever she feels like visiting us, so-to-speak.

Anyway, my gf's organising BBQ party on Saturday so I think I'm going to enjoy it.
Must DRINK! woot!

Empty space inside my chest

Thanks to all my friends that came over on Sunday to say their last farewell to Maruko. Thank you for the beautiful flowers. Thank you for making me laugh.
And thank you for those of you that sent me messages through the internet for emotional support. It means so much. I'm glad to have you all as a friend, seriously :)
(and yes I mean it)

This morning me and mum carried Maruko back to the vet to ask for cremation.
God, I never knew dead body can be so darn heavy.
I didn't really have a big problem carrying my 14kg dog before, but now she's dead, whoa.

We left her body at the vet. I wanted to stay with her as much as I can but I had to go to work.

Today was the first time I thought "I don't want to go home"
There's so so many things that reminds me of her. I feel like she will be laying down on the floor waiting for me to come back.

Last night, I spent a while with my dog. Touching her cold body was such heart aching thing. But her fur was so soft, just like when she was alive.
I touched her furry tail. I couldn't believe that tonight will be the last time I will ever pat her and rub her fur.

So I cut a little bit of fur off her tail for me to keep. Do you think it's crazy? Maybe.
But I think those who has/had pets would understand.

I feel so empty today. I don't feel much of anything anymore. Perhaps I'm over exaggerating but I've sorta lost part of my life that I cherish the most. It must be the grieving stage. I'm sure I will eventually move on but right now...
I miss her so much I don't know what to do. It's sorta driving me nuts.
I can't even type properly coz of my darn tears (probably looking at my dog's pictures were a very bad idea).
Back in my head, there's part of me thinking "Maruko went on a trip and I'm going to see her soon" or "She's not dead, she's sleeping on my bed just like she used to".

But every time I check, she's not there. Why...

Gosh, I hope I'm not going mad...

I don't know if I could ever have a dog again.
No dog can replace her.

I will miss you

My dog has passed away early this morning.

In my previous blog entry I mentioned she was greatly ill. I took her to the doctor yesterday morning but things weren't any better.
She still vomited blood, and her feces contained blood.

After she had her medicine, I took her back home. On the way, she vomited and her feces came out uncontrollably.
Finally I let her rest in her bed, cleaned her mess, and try to be beside her as much as we can.
But I didn't want to do that too much, because I knew she could sense us worrying about her, and she may try to hold on to herself more than she should be.

I wanted her to be in peace. I didn't want her to go through such pain as she already is.

Late last night about 2am, Maruko's breathing changed. She looked like she can't breathe properly. Very weak breathing pattern. Her eyes didn't move at all. She looked like she was ready to go. Yet, her heart (although very weak) thumped, and she kept breathing.

Me and mum stayed with her for a while, touching her and patting her telling her it's okay.

We had to wake up early tomorrow morning to take her to the vet (6am), so I went to sleep.

I woke up at 5:30am by the alarm. I went to check my dog.

She was already stiff.

But still warm.

She has left us.

She was a great dog. A family, I know since I was 8-years-old. She was there for our ups and downs.

You've been great.
I'm sure she is running around as much as she wants now she's free from her body.

I will miss you so much.
I love you.

My dog's sick

well where should I start...

As I was trying to leave the house today to go to work, my dog, Maruko started puking. I wasn't that surprised because she was already 17-years-old and she did throw up occasionally when she either ate too quickly or drank too much water at one go.

However I had to leave so I asked my mum to take care of her.
During lunch break I checked my phone and got a message from my mum telling me that our dog's condition worsened and had to take her to our vet.
Apparently she had a fever as well (about 39C-ish).

After work, I went to pick up Maruko from the vet, and the vet told me that Maruko is having a kidney failure. Not good.
Seems that she was vomiting the whole day at the vet's practice. Wimping and growling because of the pain. Poor girl...
She had to get a dripping injection. *sigh*
She couldn't walk anymore so I had to carry my 14kg dog back home. Whoa, what a work out.

By the time I got in front of our door, she vomited again and collapsed.
I made a place for her to lay down and wiped her vomit.
As I pat my dog and trying to soothe her, what the vet told me earlier dawned upon me.

He told me to bring her back again tomorrow and will give her some more dripping injection and see if her fever will go down a little.
If not... well he said that we should be ready for anything.

I knew that one day something like this will happen, but so soon.
Yes, she has been doing pretty darn good for her age, but that still doesn't get rid of the pain in your chest from the fear of losing your family does it?

As I was typing this blog entry, she threw up again. She's in pain and all I can do is to sit near her and watch.

But this is what it's like to having a pet. They most likely will die before you do, and it's not easy at all.
Even my brother's prairie dog's dying. He's already 8-years-old (pretty good for a prairie dog) and is getting thinner by the day, or so I've heard. Won't eat anymore. Pretty much the vet's dripping injection is the thing that's keeping him alive. I don't know how my bro's going to react if something happens to the prairie dog. He loves that little thing so much.

However, I'm the type that believes that although her bodily form is destroyed, the 'being' once was called Maruko will never vanish, and we will meet again in some form or another. Hell, who knows she may be reincarnate to my baby, yeah? Sounds crazy? well that's just my opinion.

Actually, what I'm worried is about my mother. She has been doing fine ever since her medicine started kicking in and since she started her new job. But I'm afraid she may break down if anything happens to our dog...

Plus, we both work at day so if Maruko is bedridden, what the hell are we suppose to do? Both of us can't afford to quit our jobs. But I really want putting-her-down option as the last straw. That's the last thing I want to do to her. Of course, if she was suffering terribly and is in constant pain... then that's a different story. But I don't know how I can bare the idea though.

My head hurts from thinking too much. Can't eat much.
*sigh*

Since some people can't seem to understand...

In my previous blog entry I mentioned poo attached to a stick.
Seems that some people are in doubt that this can be done (*cough* David *cough).

Anyway to make yourself a poo-attached-stick, one must find a coiled up poo.
Then you put the stick into the poo and there you go!
What do you use it for? Well to poke people with it of course!

I saw it on anime, therefore it's true.

See?