I have a girlfriend that just recently found out that she is pregnant (actually, last week). Her bf, whose the father, just turned 20. (my friend is my age, fyi)
I dunno... people say that friendship is unconditional. And you should support them and be by there side no matter what.
Well, first thing she told me that she was pregnant I got pissed off. No no no, "pissed" is an understatement.
I got infuriated.
I've been warning her from before, that she should use protection because there's no way she can support a kid. To afford a kid, to be exact.
But did she listen? Obviously not.
The same day that she told me, I went straight to her house after work and told her what I had to say.
She told me that she's been told that her body is close to sterile, and if she ever wants to have a baby, she will need to have a medical treatment. Thus, she thought it was safe to not use protection.
Well so much for a risk management!
Well I'm not going to mention everything that I said to her and the bf (few stuff went on like me crying a little), but in the end I told her that I'm too disappointed with you, that I can't see you for a while.
I haven't contacted her since.
Now don't get me wrong. I feel like crap telling my best friend off like the way I did. I still consider her as my best friend and if she is going to raise this kid, I will support her in whatever way I can. Since the child is not guilty of anything.
But at the moment, I know if I see her I won't be able to say anything nice to her. So I'm keeping a distance until I'm ready to smile at her again.
Anyway she's still love blinded so I don't think having one less friend is going to be much of anything, sad to say...
Two days later she told others about her being pregnant. So I guess she decided to raise the baby.
Although I won't go into details, I wouldn't be this angry if her life wasn't as complicated as it already is.
I believe that if you want a child, you should prepare the environment first.
Like, being financially ready, emotionally ready, and obviously talk about it with your partner if both of you are ready to have kids. For the sake of your child.
Not the other way around.
She doesn't have a job, and her bf has a part-time job (no uni digree).
Good luck to them both. Coz it ain't easy road ahead of you two.
You can't feed a kid by just being an optimist.
4 comments:
Isn't it a classic example of loving a man who is clearly wrong for her but yet, she's the only person who does not see it?
I sometimes dread that my own daughter (which I don't even have) will fall in love with a useless hobo and ended up marrying him! 0_0
(Un)Fortunately life comes with free will. No matter how clear the facts are, sometimes emotion gets the better of us. For us, who is not involved in the relationship, we can only be there for that person and share our thoughts. But there is no more to do. As much as we love them, the choice is not ours, the consequences are theirs.
Well, one thing that might help. My dad used to pray religiously so that I would drop my useless ex bf. It works! Ha!
IT might just be an unfortunate example of unrealistic people who are more in love with the idea that love will concur all odds.
I'm not sure whether this will make you feel any better though
http://dbthemovie.com/
Urgh,
Well at least she loves him, and hopefully he loves her. If they can make it work then best of luck to them. I'm sure you'll make a great auntie.
The whole world is kindof unfair. Couples that don't want kids yet get pregnant, those shitty trailer trash have like 15kids to get government benifits and then perfect couples who would make great parents are infertile.
Maybe she can adopt him/her out to one of these perfect couples who just can't have their own children. Have you watched "Juno"?
After living with a 3 year part time for the last 6 months it does kind of show you that all it takes is love to raise a good child. Money and material things are second.
sometimes things will just fall into place... Its gonna be tough for them... but her being optimistic ensures that she is willing to try and "correct" her mistake...
and I totally agree with you about being both parties being financially and emotionally stable before having kids...
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