My dog's sick

well where should I start...

As I was trying to leave the house today to go to work, my dog, Maruko started puking. I wasn't that surprised because she was already 17-years-old and she did throw up occasionally when she either ate too quickly or drank too much water at one go.

However I had to leave so I asked my mum to take care of her.
During lunch break I checked my phone and got a message from my mum telling me that our dog's condition worsened and had to take her to our vet.
Apparently she had a fever as well (about 39C-ish).

After work, I went to pick up Maruko from the vet, and the vet told me that Maruko is having a kidney failure. Not good.
Seems that she was vomiting the whole day at the vet's practice. Wimping and growling because of the pain. Poor girl...
She had to get a dripping injection. *sigh*
She couldn't walk anymore so I had to carry my 14kg dog back home. Whoa, what a work out.

By the time I got in front of our door, she vomited again and collapsed.
I made a place for her to lay down and wiped her vomit.
As I pat my dog and trying to soothe her, what the vet told me earlier dawned upon me.

He told me to bring her back again tomorrow and will give her some more dripping injection and see if her fever will go down a little.
If not... well he said that we should be ready for anything.

I knew that one day something like this will happen, but so soon.
Yes, she has been doing pretty darn good for her age, but that still doesn't get rid of the pain in your chest from the fear of losing your family does it?

As I was typing this blog entry, she threw up again. She's in pain and all I can do is to sit near her and watch.

But this is what it's like to having a pet. They most likely will die before you do, and it's not easy at all.
Even my brother's prairie dog's dying. He's already 8-years-old (pretty good for a prairie dog) and is getting thinner by the day, or so I've heard. Won't eat anymore. Pretty much the vet's dripping injection is the thing that's keeping him alive. I don't know how my bro's going to react if something happens to the prairie dog. He loves that little thing so much.

However, I'm the type that believes that although her bodily form is destroyed, the 'being' once was called Maruko will never vanish, and we will meet again in some form or another. Hell, who knows she may be reincarnate to my baby, yeah? Sounds crazy? well that's just my opinion.

Actually, what I'm worried is about my mother. She has been doing fine ever since her medicine started kicking in and since she started her new job. But I'm afraid she may break down if anything happens to our dog...

Plus, we both work at day so if Maruko is bedridden, what the hell are we suppose to do? Both of us can't afford to quit our jobs. But I really want putting-her-down option as the last straw. That's the last thing I want to do to her. Of course, if she was suffering terribly and is in constant pain... then that's a different story. But I don't know how I can bare the idea though.

My head hurts from thinking too much. Can't eat much.
*sigh*