I'm Alive... for now :)

I'm going to be brutally honest. I was having a very difficult time these couple of weeks.

Since last year, my mum became bi-polar (manic depression). About last June, she became very hyper active and acting all weird. At that time, I didn't know what was going on. In August, she became depressed and cried every night. I didn't know what to do. I thought time will heal her.
Around November, she begin to recover and I thought everything turned out fine.

Then, about couple of weeks ago, she became hyper active again. She was restless, buys expensive things without thinking or checking the price. Won't listen to others. Do and say things that doesn't make any sense.

She couldn't work anymore. I couldn't work either because I had to keep my eyes on her. God knows what she might have done if I didn't.
So I took her to the doctor last week and he told us that she is having manic depression, and gave us medicine that will control her emotions and bring her back the way she was.
But, it's going to take time (for the medicine to kick in, it would take about 2 weeks). That means no income till she gets better.
I'm hiding all her bank cards and credit cards right now. I hate doing this but I can't trust her with it just yet.

It's tough. I feel like I'm going through depression. I can't laugh at the things that used to make me laugh. it's hard to smile these days. all I can think of is negative thoughts. Sometimes I couldn't stand how she was acting so I yelled and screamed while I cried. I seriously thought about committing suicide just to escape from this pain and suffering. But that's not going to solve anything. I have to live with it. I feel like breaking down but I gotta pull myself together. I'm the only one she got, and same goes for me.

These couple of days she is getting better and better. Not perfectly well but getting there. Then my friend told me that a friend of hers runs a company and is looking for someone to work for him ASAP. I gave it a shot. I contacted him and had a job interview today.

I've got the job :)
Starting from tomorrow. It's a company that deals with online advertisement (at the moment they're working for Nissin, the company that sells products such as Cup Noodle), and I will be helping out with that (no, I don't know exactly what yet lol).

I know, this doesn't mean everything is solved, but it's a start.

Wish me luck